In Mala Fide posted an article about domestic violence (27 Feb 2012) which I find repellent, but I cannot quite refute. To explain myself, I have to completely bare my “inner mangina”: I abhor violence. I won’t use violence. But I know that “violence works,” at least to the extent that a dog kicked out of the parlor won’t come back into the parlor. Except maybe to bite you in return.
But Ferd’s article linked to another, which had a gem in it. An Asia Times column from 2004, written under the byline of “Spengler” (in honor of German philosopher Oswald Spengler), that spoke harsh truth:
In every corner of the world and in every epoch of history,
the men and women of every culture deserve each other.
- Spengler’s Law of Gender Parity
Harsh? You betcha. But it is karmic truth, and it extends down into your own relationships with others. What goes around, comes around – maybe not in the same fashion, but likely with complementary results.
Spengler wasn’t talking any such nonsense as “women deserve it.” Oh, hell no! He made it clear, from the start, that he did not condone ill-treatment of women. “I take strongest exception,” he said, “to the implication that ‘women’s rights’ and human rights in any way are separable.” But what he was saying was this: Where women are badly-off, so are the men.
And, significantly – where men subjugate women physically, women ravage men psychologically.
Take a look at our society and you can see example after example of women’s psychological savagery toward men. Toward boys. Toward children. Toward each other. Women are past masters of the cutting remark, the belittling comeback, the deflation of the good with a dismissive statement of why “it wasn’t good enough.” Women have refined language into a remarkably versatile tool, and a trenchant weapon. They know just where to slip in the needle, and how to break off its tip.
Men don’t play as well at that game. When it comes to a battle of barbed words, men generally come off second-best. And a man who “comes off second-best”, even in a conflict of words, is “not good enough to mate.” That, we could say, is the Law of the Jungle.
Furthermore – and worse – all too few women know when to stop, or when to let go of an issue once they’ve won. They’ll keep on pecking, even after they get what they want. They’ll save up old arguments, old disappointments, old anger and frustration, and rub the man’s nose in them again and again. It worked before, and they’ll push it harder and harder. Society doesn’t intervene; it is the woman’s right. He backs down gracefully; she steps up aggressively. He backs down further; she keeps on coming. And eventually she backs him into a corner.
It is an unfortunate truth that men, males of our species, tend to respond to conflict with action. We learn it as little boys, who will tussle to establish their pecking order. It is reinforced, though channeled and rendered less dangerous, in the active and physical games that older children will play, and in team sports of all kinds, from baseball and cricket to rugby and American football. It is part and parcel of war, that profession of rough and violent men who defend our borders from enemies without, and in law enforcement, wherein a certain professional class (policemen) are authorized to use violence in response to criminal activity. It is in our genes, this readiness to make war, this recourse to violence in the face of a threat.
But violence against a woman is especially condemned. That starts in childhood, where every boy is repeatedly commanded, “You can’t hit a girl!” (Never mind how the girl might have taunted him, teased him, even hit him herself. Nobody ever tells the girls that they mustn’t hit a boy.) It continues into adolescence, where grown-up boys become infatuated with the grown-up girls around them; and they are charged to be as absolutely-controlled in their behavior as the girls are allowed to run riot. It is reinforced, incessantly in our society, through adulthood, through our courts, through our laws.
So … the man pushes her aside, on his way to the door.
And that self-defensive, minimal physical response – is held to be domestic violence. That calls for the Guns of Government, the courts and the police, to come and restrain him and haul him off to jail. That calls for “civil protective orders,” and eviction from his home, and all the sanctions that Society saves up for a man who “has laid hands on the Woman.”
Now let me repeat, I am not saying this because I condone violence – against anyone. Or at least, not unless that person has started violence first.
But let me ask you this: Women have campaigned, harangued, lobbied, marched upon the capitol, and all-but-rioted in pursuit of a Society that denies them nothing in the way of freedom, privilege and special treatment. They’ve tried to take every possible win out of the hands of men. They have taken over the colleges and universities, with their Women’s Studies; they have taken over the workplace, by stuffing it with “Human Resources” commissars (almost all female) and rules & regulations and policies that make it very uncomfortable to be a man in today’s “Encorpera” environment. They have taken over the family, to the extent that a woman can have their husband booted out of the house by the police, virtually at a whim – without affecting his legal obligation to keep paying the mortgage or the rent for her. They have all but made it illegal to be a man; and I think they’re trying to do even that.
What kind of man do you actually think that the “entitled, empowered, victim” Women Of Today deserve?
They sure as hell don’t deserve me. Not by my lights, they don’t.
I don’t condone physical violence. And I don’t condone the emotional violence of somebody pecking, pecking, pecking at their partner. I have borne up under enough of that in my own life; at the hands of my grandmother, my mother, my aunt, and enough “girlfriends” to have had a surfeit of it.
That’s why I won’t even seek out a girlfriend. I figure I deserve better than what I’ve gotten. And you, ladies, with your actions and your barbed words, deserve no better than what you’re getting.